How to get over a break up
This isn’t my first, or second or even third heartbreak-rodeo, meaning you are in good hands because I'm the break-up veteran you’ve been searching for, so let’s cut straight to the shiz.
What happens when the pure and delightful love bubble you’ve been living in combusts into black, thick flames?
People usually refer to this as a "breakup", however, I like to call this "when I turn myself into 70% magnum ice cream".
Let me start this off by assuring you that you are not alone. Breakups feel like the loneliest experience on the planet, yet most of us usually go through at least one or two (or fifteen) in our lifetime.
My pretties, there is no way I can say this nicely, the beginning of any breakup fucking hurts like 8 billion fork stabs to the chest. Allow yourself those first few days to be a miserable mess. Don’t try to fight it because it’ll catch up with you in a more toxic way later on. Plus you need a hot minute to feel sad, overeat carbs, drink too much wine and do some hard-hitting reflection, it’s healthy.
Personally, I think one of the best parts about a breakup is that you don't feel guilty wearing your pyjamas at 3 pm or that you haven’t shaved your legs in days and the fact your bed is filled with unidentified food crusts. It’s a magical time if you embrace it, but don’t you dare stay in this phase for too long, you need to get back up on your sexy high heelin’ leggy legs (aka feet).
I usually remind myself that I don’t regret the relationship ("regrets and mistakes are memories made" - any excuse to quote the queen, Adele) and that it unlocked new experiences and parts of myself I didn’t know I had. I’ll grow from it. The future is exciting and should be embraced. Now, all of that is true, but you might need some convincing because you're still hurting and that’s cool. Fake it till you make it, because girl, you will make it. I promise. The dark cloud will lift and you will shine brighter.
You’ll undoubtedly go back and forth with your emotions for a while and that’s normal too. You are grieving and unfortunately no matter what anybody says or the juicy advice you're given, getting over a breakup simply takes time. Time is the true hero in the breakup steps and sadly you can’t manipulate time.
Below are my two solid pearls of wisdom:
You’ve gotta stay busy. I find putting positive energy into working on yourself, whether that's health-related, "careering" or hobby indulging. Don’t let the sadness of a relationship break-down consume you for longer than it needs too because the only person you're hurting is yourself. Plus, life is short, make it cute.
Secondly, get ya single sexy hot pants on, but only when you are ready. You don’t want to bring the baggage of your past relationship into the next one because that’s not fair on the person or yourself. Think about it like this, you're at an airport and the staff tell you you're over the baggage limit and you now have to pay $63,922,047 to be able to be let on the plane. No one wants that. Travel light and free. And remember...
You got this.